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BlameDesire is a direct reflection
of your current form of affection,
Circumstance, merely a luxury
of your active state of mentality,
Perspective a cheap illusion
of a clearly obvious delusion,
and reason lost in a familiar place
of ecstasy and state of grace.
I'm skeptical and cautious to take a step
Cause with each one I give, I have less to bet
In this game of Russian roulette I often fake
Exactly how much of my soul is at stake
So colder and colder I'll get
Till I have but a shell of a soul left to bet
But for now, this I must say
That you should rather stay away
For my heart would be easy to break
And waste all the pain it took this shell to create
I know quite well that I will never be the same
Do I have you to thank, or rather to blame?
Die Laaste Huur'n Enkele hartklop, my asem kom en gaan stadiger met elke uur
Die lewe word uit gesyfer, versteen om te bly, vir altyd, hier
Vlenters lê die stukke, vermong in swart en wit in die skadu van die muur
En ek wonder hoe lank die oomblik van my lewe nog sal duur
Die lewe is nou 'n enkele kool nog aan die gang in gisteraand se vuur,
maar dit flikker en verduister stadig terwyl ek wonder waarheen die sterre my sal stuur
Tyd staan nader, ek hoor my hart verkrimmel, kraak soos ń skedel van ń dier
in die kaake van 'n monster soos die tyd uit loop van die lewe wat ek huur
FluisterKan jy klein bietjie sagter wees wêreld
Ek probeer dink, ek probeer myself vind,
Ek probeer my gevoelens by mekaar skraap,
Ek probeer besluit of ek sal bly of weg waai in die wind,
Ek probeer verstaan wat verkeerd geloop het,
Ek probeer al my herhinneringe in volgorde bind,
Ek probeer vas klou aan gister aand,
Ek probeer sien soos ek het as ń kind,
Ek probeer die anker los breek,
En ek probeer die leemte in my bors verslind
FarewellYou were my ambition,
My Inspiration and my obsession.
You were the first love of my life,
The muse to my internal strife.
I didn't ever want to let you down,
I don't ever want to see you frown.
My heart is where my demons hide,
You showed me that it's not all dark inside,
That its okay to let the real me out,
That its okay to laugh, to scream and shout,
That the sky is in reach from the floor,
That I can love another and adore.
But I'm chasing a dream that isn't real,
Regardless of what I might think I feel,
It's time to come down from this high.
This is a long overdue goodbye.
I wish you can hear me!
I thank you! Yours sincerely
The beastLove is a treacherous, wild beast,
It's only goals are to hunt and feast.
Its untamed, untethered and undone.
With a body burning like the sun,
It lures you in with gestures & fibs.
It claws it's way through your ribs
to chew on your tender, fragile heart
and bit by bit tear it apart.
Futile screams and a feeble fight,
can but only bring it delight.
You can try to hide and try to flee,
But once you're tamed you can't be free.
WordsI want to speak these words to you,
Even though its something I shouldn't do,
But I can't keep these words at bay
There's to many feelings inside of me.
Words don't mean a thing, but now they do
They might give me one more day with you.
It's amazing what love can do to you,
And I don't know what I should do.
I can't sleep when I'm alone,
I can't get comfortable in my home,
I can't dream, too scared of what I'll find,
I can't get you out of my mind!
I didn't want any of this,
Right now my words are useless.
It's amazing what loss can do to you,
And I don't know what I should do.
Everyone else knows what I should do:
Run from the love that draws me to you.
Take these words away from me!
Take these words and set me free!
Your memory hurts, but I don't care.
It'll hurt even more when you're not there.
It's amazing what longing can do to you,
And I don't know what I should do.
LanguageI would give everything and heaven too,
I would give it all for one more moment with you.
Love is hard to translate, it makes no sense to me
It speaks in a language of it's own, you see.
The words come out, all wrong and damaged,
I've tried to put them together, patched and bandaged,
but with all my knowledge I do not know how.
I will succeed, I will put them back in poetry, I vow!
Please do not get lost, find your way through the mazes
of these words and stumbling phrases,
while I fight, no, while I win this war
against a language that I never knew existed before.
EncoreRemember how I used to say
I can't wait for a brand new day
But now I'm scared of death, I'm scared of living
Gave up on my hopes because they're unforgiving
I misplaced my trust
I've watched my world turn to dust
Fought through things that felt never ending
And my heart just keeps on mending
Secrets mound behind my closet door
Pieces keep spilling out onto the floor
But here it is, the day I have to go
I will try not to let it show
How terrified I really am
I will fight as hard as I can
So we can sit side by side
And watch the moon divide
The water and the clear blue sky
One last time before I die
Gleeman's taleRage infuse their blood and tears
They have no remorse, no rational fears
Their song of war ravage our ears
Nations will bleed for hundreds of years
The will of one, the horde's desire
Their souls, they burn like fire
Ready to flood over an empire
Behind them pinnacles of death aspire
Beyond the valley, below the sky
Inconceivable by the eye
Righteous heroes, honor held high
We will defend until we die
Here we will make our stand
For our blood and for our land
Allies will come without command
Hell itself we will withstand
Time slows down as titans meet
Bodies pile beneath our feet
Frenzied lust in the battle's heat
The flow of blood, a warrior's treat
After days the battle passed
Yet we stand unsurpassed
The devastation left is vast
At our homeland we look aghast
Years have passed since that day
now in the fields our children play
for countless ages here they'll stay
and defend the land in our honorable way
Notes On love and LustThese are my notes
On love and lust:
One is true, and
The other is just.
Love is watching the pianist
Play, admiring at a distance.
Lust is watching the fingers dance,
Mouth watering to offer assistance.
Lust is the demon
In the middle of the night.
Love is the shelter,
The tunnel before the light.
Love is the enemy,
The inhibitor of the soul.
Lust is the freedom,
The bridge above the troll.
Lust is the hated,
That moment of sin.
Love is the saviour,
That we are lost within.
But lust brings joy,
And that fun little spark.
Love brings safety,
And saves broken hearts.
These are my notes
On love and lust
One is true and,
The other is just.
I do not ask,
For one or the other
Just that freedom be free,
And that freedom not smother.
So while where here now,
Decide amongst yourselves,
Which is the true?
And which is the just?
Explaining DepressionImagine a deep chasm. You're trapped at the bottom all alone. Scattered along the walls above you are ledges. You can climb up to the ledges to find certain prizes. It could be something big like your loved ones or something as small as your favorite food. The higher you go the better the prize.
It takes a lot of energy to reach these ledges. Sometimes you have none to spare on the climb and you are more likely to fall. Other times loose footing or even rock slides can knock you down. The higher you are the farther you fall. The farther you fall the harder it is to get back up again.
You don't have to climb to find prizes though. But the prizes you find on the chasm floor are merely ghosts of the rewards above. They feel alien and fake. Eventually you don't see the point of climbing anymore. You stop caring about prizes and you give up.
At this point you notice a hole. Its dark and cold and seemingly endless. You know deep down that if you enter it you will never be able to return. Al
Trust me.Are you okay?
Ahah. Yes I am. I'm just tired.
Tired of? Come on, talk to me.
Sigh. You don't want to know.
Yes, yes I do. I care about you. What's the problem?
Trust me. You don't want to know.
Fine. I drag it again and again everyday on my back.
It attacks me,
Sometimes once a month,
Sometimes once in a week,
Sometimes once a day.
It ushers me,
To be braver than I am,
To do more than I possibly ever could.
And I'm okay with that, sometimes, even glad.
I feed it, I tend to it, I nurture "it's" ways, and give in all the time.
It requires too much of me, for the only way to feed it is through my blood and tears, for that is what it requires to bloom. The worst part of it I hear you ask?
I don't even try to stop it.
You see, It leaves these marks, these straight lines, about five tones darker than my actual skin colour, and they happen to love my ankles.
What? What are you trying to tell me?
What the hell do you think?
TogetherWe will be together.
I can hear your laughter,
like music chimes on the wind.
And your smile is radiance,
like the sun it warms me.
Your touch is soft and gentle,
fingers brush tears from my cheek.
And I taste your lips against mine,
sweeter than any chocolate.
But you become ash in my mouth,
and slip through my fingers like sand.
For you are a hope and a dream,
a lie my mind made and my heart believes.
Are you real or just a phantom,
a simple figment of my rumination?
Do you stare at the same stars in longing,
or are you like the void that separates them?
My heart says that you too are waiting,
for what cradles you in imagination.
We will be together.
Truly FreeIn this world as we know it
No human will ever be free
Slavery is lessoned
But the past will forever haunt
Never free of bad memories
And still racism will haunt
Never will it end
Even in the façade of peace
We are not free
Judgment of others
Social standings and wealth
And being told what to do
Where to go
What to be
In our own homes
We're trapped from the start
The teachings and influence of those around us
Swaying our minds one way or another
Never will our thoughts be truly free
Imagine none of these restrictions
Are we yet free?
It still comes down to the basics of life
Our physical limitations
We cannot fly freely among the birds
Nor swim with the whales in the open sea
But say we could
We're still confined
The day the world ends
Will be the day
Humans are truly free.
Nearly LyricalBreaking up,
Making out in the rain
Outside, where it's more dramatic
You're in pain)
How exciting and memorable,
So perfectly effable,
Except that it is
Just a bit--
A bit inevitable
All our love,
Is made so bland
Done over again
Scream aloud now
With all your mind and soul,
State your intentions,
Do leave in your goals
The audience is waiting,
Eyes on the floor--
Do them a favor,
Put on a good show
A dull drone in my head
Once more the main subject,
Love's here till the end
Sideways on a table,
Outside in the rain,
Then breaking up again
into the sea belowa lock on a door, in a place well-known
the withered-windy-whisper wood, whickered-flickered candlelight
soft illuminations and hints of dazzling-decked, twin-leafed
cardinal vascular canvas.
a musical blend of blue and grey.
the lock on a door, in a place well-worn
beneath the melancholy-painted, cerulean-white cliffs
and the tri-pigment, undertone-hued sky
never can meet with its widow-burned key.
singular musical drops unwittingly fly
only to fragment and fall
into the sea below.
I don't knowLately the days are slow and cold
These wounds seem fresh, yet they're old
I'm mostly filled with dread and doubt
Patiently waiting till the lights fade out
This is slowly killing me
But without this, what would I be...
This uncertainty is feeding the beast inside
At what point would there be nowhere left to hide?
Next to you the world was bright
I want to save and cherish that light
I want to shelter you, I want to treasure you
Nothing in the world can be more true
They say its not up to us but rather fate,
But at what point would it be hopelessly to late?
I couldn't and I can't escape this now
I need someone to show me how
Into how many pieces can one's heart divide?
How much of yourself is left inside?
How can you find them scattered in the dark?
And how long can one survive with them apart?
I guess I'll be dead and gone before I know
So at what point should I let you go?
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
IowaIf you visit Iowa,
you'll call her fields empty,
but she wasn't born that way.
A part of her was carved out
when she was ripped between Virginia
and the purple mountains of New Mexico.
Her gold hair, she tore it out when she realized
it didn't make her a princess.
She laid her locks strung along every road
leading somewhere else.
White hairs on her cheeks
are scars from winter.
Her hair darkens with the dampness
of summer rains.
The storms are never silent,
but neither is life when there's a tear
in your childhood where
a parent ought to be.
I've been flooded by Iowa's sorrow.
The only way I can distract her from her own voided landscape
is if I hate myself harder than she cries.
She just wants to fly
and I want to bus or train,
not because I fear death, but because
I want to take living slow.
It's the only way I ever feel.
From the air it's hard to watch Earth's hips move.
But Earth can't compare to the country.
That's my girl.
Full grown even when harvesting season's j
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More